While mentally we were prepared for this showdown, we didn’t know what hit us with our maiden venture. Let me describe the scene which unfolded, when one descended the stairs into the arena, there was one central wash space, where two people were washing their undergarments and socks, the waft of stink which emanated was quite overpowering. The two of them of course were in their birthday suits chatting away nonchalantly, two others were in Maharaja position (the half headstand with toes resting on the wash place itself), where clothes were being washed, again stark naked. There were six showers, ok not showers really as the showers were removed, these were just taps overhead there with continuous stream of water flowing down, under which there was one cadet practising his word of command, “Nishan Toli……dahini disha badal kar ghoom..”.probably a sixth termer. We stood gaping suddenly realising we were rather overdressed for the place in our kurta pyjama, gowns and started to strip looking the other way, as though the others would simply disappear. Not that anybody cared really…the moment you let go off the last piece of cloth, you are suddenly liberated…. you just walk under the shower and go ahead, do the job. A sort of Nirvana is attained, after all each one of us was endowed with similar tools, like all other body parts, which did not in any way make anyone feel awkward, this too was just another piece of anatomy way overrated and pampered.
But the bathing and the ablutions was the sedentary stuff, the dreaded part was to unfold rather early the next morning in the “bramha muhurt”, which is the most auspicious hour to commence one’s spiritual journey, so at 3 am in the morning there was a gentle knock on the cabin door, which just increased in intensity till we groggily opened the doors and before we could say Jack Robinson, we were dragged by our collars into the same “Toilet”, where our other comrades were already in action….the third termers were in their most spirited avatars and our brethren were meek as lambs huddled together awaiting the slaughter which was about to commence. We didn’t have to wait long, some smart alecs were missing but the party must go on… so the session began with some front rolls some maharajas, some crawlings, all under the flowing overhead taps, which were conveniently alternately hot and cold and so it went on for almost about two hours, just in time for our bathroom clearance,time after which these hallowed portal were out of bounds for us, whatever be the emergency(!), it could wait…
These bathroom sessions were a regular phenomena and their frequency was not governed by any rules of Physics, at the drop of a hat, these would be ordered….nobody actually used his head as these were put in a deep freeze literally.
That reminds me, in the Navy on board the ships, the toilets are referred to as the “Heads”, obviously they use their heads in actually naming it such…Apparently in the days of yore, when the ships were sailing, the only place where the sailors could relieve themselves was at the head of the ship, as the wind was flowing from the rear to the front, to protect their rather sensitive olfactory organs (!)
Anyway getting back to our spiritual pursuits in those unearthly hours….we did have our nirvana moments in those very toilets, lost our inhibitions, having been initiated into it by our revered gurus…after all once you have grown above such materialistic pursuits…of even that piece of cloth…haven’t you attained Moksha!
Original Comments:
Sheraz Varma (2020-08-25):
How well you've described those pressured moorings of the mornings, agog with clearance tik-tok precision… And the jettison of unmentionables…. You've captured the toilet ek naked katha, so well
Rakesh Nandan (2020-08-25):
Wonderful story of the NDA Toilets! Transported in time. Keep writing.
S.bhadauria@yahoo.com (2020-08-25):
Memoirs ! Toilets too have stories to narrate, after all every course has gone past same rutine. Indeed toilet was yet another Saturn in the lives of cadets. But all said and done that place too had traditions to be followed and every one honoured them. THOSE were the DAYS …. !
Ulhas Kirpekar (2020-08-25):
Yaad aagaya guzara zamana…..nice sir
Unknown (2020-08-25):
Beautifully narrated, Suyash…..It is your subtle humour and sharp wit, weaved with crisp expressions, which transforms an ordinary memory into an extra ordinary story…surely 'making a sense of nonsense'…. for all of us to experience it with you. Great story telling….Thank you.
Kedar Thaakar (2020-08-25):
Beautifully narrated, Suyash…..It is your subtle humour and sharp wit, weaved with crisp expressions, which transforms an ordinary memory into an extra ordinary story…surely 'making a sense of nonsense'…. for all of us to experience it with you. Great story telling….Thank you.
Akshaya Handa (2020-08-25):
What lovely memories these hallowed symbols of discipline have etched in each of us. But yes it takes a special narrative to bring them to the fore and pen them on paper
Unknown (2020-08-25):
If only the toilets could speak…
Sachu (2020-08-25):
Excellent piece Suyash…. remember these hallowed places more as sessions bthan Moksha
Bubesh (2020-08-25):
What a Vivid narration of scenes that would appear so bizarre to all those who did not attain Nirwana in the cradle of leadership..
Pankaj (2020-08-25):
Another good one from you; keep going
Gypsy (2020-08-25):
Dear Suyash,
What a wonderful piece, transported back in time with a No of hilarious incidents in such state of Moksha including of the NDA Spl, came tumbling out from the cupboards of mind.Continue with your unique wit laden style of wrtg
archna (2020-08-25):
Nice piece on toilet training!!! Very well written!
jagmohan (2020-08-25):
Transported back in time…..Memories of a lifetime well spent
Unknown (2020-08-25):
Wow sir … you have put so much sense into something we lived with. Next should be the RIMC toilets.
Compliments to you for such wonderful narration.
Vivek (2020-08-25):
Keep writing sir … we are loving it. Very well articulated
Patanjali (2020-08-25):
Revealing…!
Glad you cut out some of the other extremes that the less fortunate amongst us from a few squadrons had to go through as part of bathroom sessions….
Somesh Gupta (2020-08-25):
So well written. Lucid. Nostalgic
Unknown (2020-08-25):
Very well written.. Excellent and subtle expression… **Sachmuch yaad a gaya humko guzra zamana**
Anil Kumar F/70 (2020-08-25):
Suyash!Very nostalgic and lucid … Multipurpose utility of Modern day Washrooms as " Indoor Gym "…Germination of Liberal approach in Life.
Unknown (2020-08-25):
Those bathroom sessions. How wonderfully put in words. Very nostalgic.
Satish Mallik (2020-08-25):
Bathroom was for cleansing of the body and bathroom sessions for cleansing of the soul. After the session was over we were beyond any pain or discomfort, both physically as well as emotionally. Total Nirvana!
Beautifully lucid! Keep tickling.
Sunil V Damle (2020-08-25):
Ha! Ha! Aptly titled!
Yo (2020-08-25):
Nostalgic, beautifully narrated
Yo (2020-08-25):
Nostalgic, beautifully narrated
arun sharma (2020-08-25):
Excellent piece, Suyash. In our junior terms just finishing with the morning ablutions, shower after a double outdoor before breakfast and after games in the evening, without earning the wrath of some senior was an achievement in itself. It's weird that we can actually look back on all that fondly. Well written!
V Pramod Kumar (2020-08-26):
Interesting reading. Very well narrated. Keep going.
arun sharma (2020-08-26):
Can you view me, Suyash?
Unknown (2020-08-26):
Very well articulated Suyash…ab to bas yeh yaaden hain
Arun Sabnis (2020-08-26):
Nicely put, Nostalgic indeed;
Incidentally bathing in some of the Naval ships was on similar lines, but the idea was for everyone to have a bath in the short time during which the water was made available for bathing (due to shortage of fresh water while sailing)
Unknown (2020-08-26):
Brothers "HAMAM MEIN SAB NANGE",is onr of the hygienic necessities during the NDA trg-a must after 80 minutes of sweating like a pig.
Unknown (2020-09-01):
Hilarious and ofcourse well written buddy
Vikram Singh (2020-09-01):
Outstanding !!!
Sameer (2020-09-05):
Hahahaha………hilarious……secrets of NDA unearthed. can sense now, there are many reasons for that strong brotherhood in Armed forces