“Oh My God! This is sacrilege”, shouted R, “look at their cheek, serving a vegetarian meal to the dignitaries in BRICS summit”, P piped in. Now R was confused, he knew he was supposed to offer the other cheek like a true Gandhian, when struck on one side, but merely looking at the cheek, how was he expected to respond. Totally at a loss, he looked at J his Man Friday, who was yet to recover from the shock. All the courtiers suddenly started to examine each other’s cheeks, if there was something amiss. M watched the scene for a while expecting someone to bring the house to order, but as always, they were all looking upto her to guide them. She finally said, “Forget the cheeks, focus on the issue, serving that ‘ghas-phoos‘ to the distinguished guests is tantamount to dishonouring them, whatever happened to “Atithi Devo Bhav (Guest is God)? Imagine the royal lavish spread that could have been laid out, the kebabs and the vindaloo or the Rogan Josh, the biryanis…But sadly this saffron gang would not even spare the food and show their true colours by generously overdoing the saffron bit in their cuisine. How can anyone compare a mushroom galouti with the original mutton one? These guys have no originality, just copy cats and they derive perverse pleasure by plagiarising everything from our schemes which we rolled out earlier to the dishes being served. Just by calling it pearl millet, it does not acquire any sheen, they remain what they always were, the food for the masses.“ R found his voice again, “You may call it Shri Anna, but Shri was supposed to be the Hindi translation of Mister and Anna is supposed to be an elder brother in Tamil. Now you have got me all mixed up why are you calling a grain as Mister and that too an elder bro? After all a grain is a grain it can’t pass off as a person, dumbasses!”
P not to be left behind, “Have you ever heard of Gucchi Marmik, now that is typical Ulhasnagar stuff, they can’t even spell Gucci correctly, so they misspell even the global brands, wait till they get a lawsuit filed against them.” “Hey hey, that’s not a Gucci fashion accessory, they are talking about, it is a vegetarian dish”, one of the wise ones butted in. Just one cold stare from M and he retreated into the background. “A vegetarian menu is for the patients in a hospital, the lentils and bottle gourds, khichdi variety, not what should figure in any state level banquets, it is such a disgrace,” D was livid, as the Thakurs are known to savour the ‘tangdis’ (legs) in all its forms and flavours. As it is, he was averse to the Water toasts that we suffered in deference to Gandhi ji’s fixation for prohibition.
“This is a national shame”, was unanimously adopted resolution in the meeting. “We must raise this issue in the social media and even in the parliament, as and when it is convened. What a great opportunity to stall its functioning again.”
Meanwhile, from the abattoir, there is a report of wild jubilation at this reprieve granted to the poultry, also to the seafood and cattle family. After all it is not everyday that they get to enjoy this kind of amnesty. Veggies having discovered their newfound fame after figuring in the most talked about menu in the recent times are over the moon. The rich repertoire which the veggies enjoy is simply unmatched, if someone still has any doubts about it, please come over to the Malwa belt, enjoy Laddoo Bafla ( Flour dumpling boiled and cooked in smoky cow dung cakes with Dal or Paniye (Corn dumpling smoked in a rich leafy flame of the forest tree (Palash). When the names are so exotic, you can imagine the gourmet spread that awaits you. Meanwhile !