notoriety which has been heaped on them. After all they are simply flying
mammals and stick to old dilapidated monuments, derelicts, banyan trees, caves
and stay out of harms length from the most dangerous animal, the “homo sapien”.
But alas, all it took was a “Contagion”, the 2011 hollywood movie, with an
ensemble star cast of Matt Damon, Jude Law, Kate Winslet, Gywneth Paltrow and
Marion Cotillard to revile these hermits. Well actually Nipah, (which was deadlier with 75% fatality) was probably the
first time that world took notice of ‘fruit bats’, having originated in
Malaysia in 1998, the year of Pokharan2.0 . But Covid19 took the cake, a global pandemic leaving a trail of 3
lakh dead in its wake and still counting….
lockdowns and migrant labours, cricketers and baseball players are up in arms,
they have asked for a change in the nomenclature of their “Bats”, they would
not like to touch anything so vile in their wildest imagination. After all how
would dear Anushka feel if Virat was to do an encore of the famous “bat kiss”
after his next century. The mere mention of bats sends shivers through our
collective spine. As a corollary, they have also taken umbrage at being
referred to as batsmen…it just won’t do. They have sworn, they have nothing to
do with any bat of any kind. In fact they have said it appears to be a
conspiracy, after all Cricket is such a popular game, this bat business is ‘just
not cricket’. The Chinese green with envy over not being a party in the IPL
have hatched this purely out of vendetta. Some sources even mentioned that
Chinese suspect India was using Cricket to avenge their 62 debacle. So bats
simply have to go…..May be the conspiracy was more deep rooted after all it was
the British who brought Cricket here, why couldn’t they have named this block
of wood, a blade or a cane or just block or even stick like in hockey, why bat….obviously
something is amiss.
having been whipped in the cricket fields by the Yuvis and Dhonis and equated
to the lower part of the human abdomen, deriving perverse pleasure from the fact that bats are seeking refuge in the
dressing rooms, not venturing out. Digging deep into the etymology bats felt they could have been referred to as ‘willows’ after all they owed their origin to these trees from where they were chiselled out, or alternately like racquets, which does not share its name with any animal/bird, a new term could have been coined, it would have been so much safer. Racquet games have realised that they so much to be grateful for…at least no one dare call them any names…
eyelids have refused to ‘bat’ since this terrible tragedy, they will blink but no
batting come what may, romance has not been the same without the innocent batting of eyelids but do we have a choice, they would rather be shut than ‘bat’ ever again!
superhero has not had the heart to step out of Gotham, despite friend Spiderman weaving a web specially to entice him.
are left wondering…why Wuhan?
Original Comments:
Sheraz Varma (2020-05-17):
Count Dracula spirit seems to have enlightened your Bat-for-them-Bats vector.
As usual your sublime humour and puns are not for the ordinary Chole-Bhature folk. I'm sure the Chinese bossess would have sent out a Ninja turtles team for you by now
Amit Tripathi (2020-05-17):
Suyash you have battered the bat royally.
Hoping you will let the bat rise again.
Looking forward for a new tranche of notes.
Patanjali Puri (2020-05-17):
Could have never imagined how deeply things not even remotely connected to bats could be impacted with the current imbroglio!
Could you imagine I have started dreading being called out by nickname Pats, especially by my South Indian friends who don't care too much about the small difference between how you pronounce a P ora B?
Raj Jagga (2020-05-17):
Bats..bats..very well..
Sofie (2020-05-17):
Light hearted notes on a serious matter!! But it clearly goes beyond …for each of us …
Ananya (2020-05-17):
Pun-tastic!!!
Vinaya (2020-05-17):
Kudos to the creative thinking !!
Nice humour but poor bat is really battered !!
Random Thoughts… (2020-05-17):
Well, when the world is BATtling a disease which has its origins in a BAT, I can't bat for BATs.. But there is lot of sense in your musing.. 🙂
Akshaya Handa (2020-05-17):
Anonymity versus notoriety is certainly a poignant question faced by many, you have surely added Bats to that list. The poor pangolins maybe complaining coz with no thanks to you, their fame was shortlived.
Anonymous (2020-05-17):
Awesome! You provided good Batter for humour!!
Bubesh (2020-05-17):
You Keep batting with words Suyash..
Unknown (2020-05-17):
It's awesome some sir and Bats have batted well!!look fwd to see more humour..
Shiv (2020-05-18):
Well, Suyash, you surely have bat(ted) out the Chinese with your batting. Cheers!!
Yash Mor (2020-05-18):
Good light hearted reading first thing on monday morning. Keep writing
Urvi (2020-05-18):
Nice and humorous Blog.. enjoyed while reading…
Cool4u (2020-05-18):
Super!!
Great writing.
Simha (2020-05-18):
Why Oh why did the poor (cricket) Bat get battered so bat(d)ly?! The culprits actually are those secretive people of whom the world at large knows very little and so looks down upon them. However, these shifty eyed secretive people also do not bother looking back into the eyes of the world directly because firstly it takes a ton of an effort for them even to open the pair of slits on their faces (haven't you noticed?!) and secondly they don't want the world to know what they are up to. One secret, though recently revealed, is that they relished having those notorious Flying Mammals for meals morning, noon and night. Worried at their fast dwindling numbers, the Flying Rats approached their brethren along the CPEC for help. The Flying Mammals knew that long back the secretive people had hoodwinked the Braindead duds into accepting the B & R Initiative to create CPEC. (It is a different story altogether that the only thing the Braindead duds have got till now are the Slit-eyed Braindead offsprings). Since the Flying Mammals along the supposed CPEC had somehow survived the Slit-eyes, their experience was sought. They were info that the Braindeads' govt used/bribed the terminally ill among them to cross over on the sly into the Firdaus Bar-ru to create upheaval there and this may be tried against the Slit-eyes to contain their onslaught. This is the strat that the Flying Mammals have used, wherein they have been able to stop the Slit-eyes from slaughtering them and also extracted(ing) a heavy cost.
The poor Bat has enabled the Yuvis and Dhonis to batter the Brits et al into surrender. So, it is humbly requested to let this Katana continue to be called Bat.
And, those Flying mammals could be called Flying Rats, for all I care!
Satish Mallik (2020-05-19):
Love the way you imagine. Most of your blogs till now have been your personal journey since your childhood. This is pure imagination and so wonderfully seasoned with humor. You batted really well!
Sunil V Damle (2020-05-19):
What happens if the cricket becomes (in)famous like the bat for spreading some virus?!!
Glad Gladiator (2020-05-20):
Great reading!!!
Ajay (2020-06-02):
Sir. Must say most apt reading in current circumstances. As usual very well articulated. Humour quotient is your USP. Please keep it up.
Anonymous (2020-06-26):
Very interesting.
Like a spider, you have spun a very captivating web around bat.
So, Spiderman prevails Batman.
Anonymous (2020-06-26):
Very interesting.
Like a spider you have spun a very captivating web around bat.
So, Spiderman prevails Batman.
VM (2020-08-31):
As always… you once again batted very well sir… I just got bowled over!!