Honeymoon was all honey albeit many moons ago, after the recent Sonam-Raja one which resulted in the groom being despatched to his heavenly abode while the coy bride did the disappearing act till the real long arms of law finally caught up with her and her accomplices. The arms turned out to be really long for a change, from Indore in Madhya Pradesh to Shillong in Meghalaya and finally it was Gazipur in UP where she did emerge as though from thin air. Honeymooners are known to indulge in occasional pranks, but this one took the cake really.
I casually asked our domestic help a young lad all of 25 who had just got married, as to where was he planning his mooning, the poor guy is yet to recover from my suggestion. He made his wife swear not to utter the 10 letter dirty word ever, after all he has no intention of landing up in some deep gorge being gorged by the wildlife. Parents of the newly weds are naturally overjoyed as they have been spared the additional strain on their precarious budget, mother in laws in particular have heaved a huge sigh of relief. The reasons are many but the primary one being spared the blushes of witnessing their dutiful ‘संस्कारी बहू’ (cultured daughter-in-law) turn into Urfi Javed, roaming around all the hills and beaches barely clad and their images plastered all over the social media. These photos are the most embarrassing bit, where the Saasu Ma is forced to suddenly acquire a broadminded persona.
In our family we have religiously followed this ‘no honeymoon’ policy quite seriously, after all my grandparents didn’t, nor did my parents, so we too followed suit. Guess what we have always been known for our foresight and farsightedness, so steered clear. “ना रहेगा बाँस ना बजेगी बाँसुरी”, as they say in Hindi. Honeymoon incidentally has a strong lunar connection, the period was almost that of one lunar cycle, i.e. if it starts on full moon day, then it culminates on the next full moon. The first couple of days are supposed to be all tenderness and love and this is expected to last at least the complete cycle, hence the name. But poor Sonam, she misunderstood the duration, 12th May was a full moon day and she presumed the honeymoon was over that day itself, so the faux pas.
Many old timers like me are now wary, as our second honeymoon is supposed to have commenced, happily retired, kids settled, no liabilities. We are looking at and treating our worthy spouses with new found respect after this episode and are at her beck and call. In our professional life our appraisals by the superiors always mentioned that we were ‘go getters’, which has been latched onto by the boss at home who keeps us engaged by, you guessed it, getting all the stuff from the market and in the household to make ourselves useful. The sword of honeymoon is enough to scare us into quiet domesticity.
Travel agents have been caught in a bind, if they so much as mention “H” the groom scampers. Business is taking a hit, the smarter ones are repackaging the deal instead of “honeymoon safari”, with separate negotiations with the bride about the other necessary arrangements as well, ‘honeymoon-supari’ obviously.
13 thoughts on “Honeymoon Supari !”
Amazing as always Suyash!
H word…Lol
इसलिए अब हनीमून पर अकेले ही जाना चाहिए
Dear Sir,
A Masterful Satire..
Your writing is a brilliant blend of humor, wit, and satire, tackling the sensitive topic of honeymoons with clever wordplay and observations. The anecdote about the groom’s demise and the bride’s disappearance is shocking and darkly comedic. You’ve woven together cultural references like “संस्कारी बहू” and Urfi Javed, adding depth and nuance to your narrative.
Your writing stands out for its clever language, humorous take on traditional Indian family dynamics, and satirical commentary on societal pressures. You’ve poked fun at serious topics while conveying a relatable message. Well done! Your writing is engaging, entertaining, and thought-provoking.
👍
Just hearing the word -‘Honeymoon’ will cause erectile dysfunction! 😂
This is the result of unchecked freedom of media, speech and any thing one can think of. The rot of west and depiction of same as juicy tales in media houses has made it so easy and justified for many. To rectify this, the family values system needs to be re-invoked elsewhere we are doomed.
Loved your take on this HOT topic… like always I admire the way you establish link with your own life’s experiences. 👏🏻👏🏻
In keeping with Indian tradition, it is always a good idea to go on a pilgrimage or undertake a spiritual retreat after marriage. Such journeys not only express gratitude but often help build humility and introspection – making people think twice about negative intentions and grounding them in deeper values. It’s about starting life on the right foot, with the right mindset.
Suyash, and that’s equally true when you are entering another beautiful phase – what you called the second honeymoon – post retirement. Celebrate this phase by rediscovering yourself, your partner, and your purpose. Start that journey with blessings and reflection, my friend!
Agree.
This incident has shaken one’s faith. Wonder how the Sonam’s vibes didn’t get picked up in time by Raja?
Interesting twist
Very well said Suyash. We have come a long way…from Safari to Supari.