Strai(gh)t of Hormuz

‘Strait’ of Hormuz is in the eye of the storm these days, frankly it is hardly ‘straight’ so to say, and is actually quite ‘crooked’, both in the physical domain as also in its characteristics. In fact the whole world is running around in ‘circles’ as the ‘strait’ in question has put the world leaders at large in ‘dire straits’. Geographically ‘Straits’ are narrow stretches of sea, separating two land masses, thus enabling a chokehold by the dominant power restricting its usage. These ‘straits’ require a ‘straitjacketed’ approach to ensure unhindered flow of maritime traffic but that would be a ‘straight’ forward way of addressing the issue. Trump is known to be a ‘straight’ person when it comes to his sexual orientations, but here his approach is as crooked as the ‘strait’ in question itself. 

‘Straight’ lines are drab, boring, curves make it interesting, Trump himself is known for his preference for the undulating features of human anatomy, so his having taken a fancy to this Strait of Hormuz is no surprise. He has decided that he is the only one who can have any kind of rights on such a prized possession, Iranians had to be shown their place, that is as ‘straight’ and simple as it can be. To set the record ‘straight’, he has even been indulging in some ‘straight’ talking, asking for the Iranian Mullahs to shun their obduracy and their flowing robes, instead they ought to adhere to the straight dress regulations, the lesson which he imparted Zelensky too some time back. But unfortunately the Mullahs are not interested in raising their hands ‘straight’ and have taken to shooting ‘straight’ at all and sundry. Keeping a ‘straight’ face may be quite a task, when one has it ‘straight’ from the horse’s mouth about Trump’s ‘straight’ from the heart desire for propagating peace all along while bombing poor Iranians.

Well, one can’t blame him, after all it is difficult to think ‘straight’ when one is tempted by the prize of going down in history as the President who sorted out the Mullahs once and for all and even avenged the Tehran hostage crisis of 1979. The Americans have been very ‘straight’ in their ‘strat’-egy when it comes to oil, they are prepared to bend all rules and not get stuck in ‘straight’ kind of morality, that is the crux of their ‘strat’-agem.  They have strat-etegised and decided they will use the strat-osphere for their missiles, even if it leads to disastrous outcomes for the ‘strata’ of the mother Earth. 

Getting back to the geographical aspects of the strait, the other famous straits in the world are Sunda, Palk,  Malacca and so on, they all are relatively ‘straight’ in their alignment, where as this Hormuz doesn’t seem to follow this simple requirement. Obviously this needed to be ‘straight’ened, and then the name itself Hormuz, why can’t they keep it simple and ‘straight’, why such tongue twisters. Trump wants it to be named after him, as straight, as it can be, ‘Trump Strait’, guess the Iranians might as well name it that and let the world get back to business straight away.